bunun vebalini ödeyemezsin gugıl efendi

ya da ödersin yaa ne bilim. sonuçta siksok sitelere saçıyosun parayı. demek ki paran çok! ama parayla da saadet olmaz; o ayrı!!

neyse benim konum bu değil zaten. bana ne elalemin parasından. ben işin sosyal boyutundayım!

şimdi efendim bu gugıl dediğimiz nane aslen bir ne? arama motoru değil mi? yani internette bir şey bulmak istediğinde faydalanacağın bir eser. her birimiz de gayet tabi faydalanıyoruz bu eserden. fakat gel gör ki, bıloguma gelen misafirlerin gugılda arattığı şeylere bakarken aklıma dank etti. gençlerimiz gugıla, adeta mahallenin her şeyi bilen, yol gösteren abisi muamelesi yapıyorlar. bir dakika patlama hemen açıcam konuyu!

şimdi efendim benim jenerasyonum, hayatla ilgili en temel bilgileri mahalledeki abilerinden almıştır. hepimizin mahallesinde, başı sıkıştı mı başvurabileceği abileri olurdu. bu adamlar son derece bilge, görmüş geçirmiş abilerdi. sözleri kanun yerine geçerdi. misal zafer abi. bana ve yaşıtlarıma birçok şeyi öğreten zafer abidir. misalse, japon amının kapaklı olduğunu ben zafer abiden öğrendim. yaa şimdi böyle am deyince de biraz sert oldu. vajina diyelim ona biz. vajina terimini okulda öğrenmiştim gerçi. ama zafer abinin bunu öğrettiği zaman daha vajinayı bilmiyordum. bu durumda am dememde de sakınca yok sanki. neyse ama yine de kibar olalım! evet, japon vajinasının kapaklı olduğunu ben şahsen zafer abiden öğrendim diye hatırlıyorum. ya da bi dakka lan, berberde mi öğrenmiştim ben bunu? berberde de öğrenmiş olabilirim. çünkü berberler de benim zamanımın ilim irfan yuvalarıydı. özellikle cinsel bilgiler konusunda. ama orada şöyle bir fark vardı, berber direkt öğretim yapmaz da, böyle müşteri abilerle falan kollektif bir eğitim verilirdi. tamam yaa, ben japon vajinası hakkındaki enformasyonu berberde edinmiştim; doğru.

haa tamam bak şimdi hatırladım. zafer abi, bana ilk vajina resmini gösteren kişidir. ama normal vajina. japona ait değil. çağırdı bigün bu beni, oturmuş böyle bahçe duvarında, elinde de bir kağıt, "kaba lan baksana ne acaip ağız" dedi. gülüyo bi de. ben baktım böyle acayip bir şey, pek ağıza da benzemiyo. "bu ne biçim ağız yææ zafer abi" dedim ben. meğer kağıt katlıymış! bu böyle yavaş yavaş açmaya başladı kağıdı. piç yææ. neyse kağıdın katları açıldıkça bacaklar falan çıktı ortaya. sonra da bir dergiden koparılmış bir kadın resmi olduğunu anladım ben. memeleri falan vardı!!! neyse işte öğretti zafer abi resimdekiler nedir falan. resmi de hediye etti bana :) hala saklarım onu!

işte bu şekil yani, bizim jenerasyon bu şekil öğrendi bazı şeyleri. ama şimdikilere bakıyorum ben, oturmuşlar bilgisayarın başına, almışlar gugılı karşılarına, bekliyorlar ki hayatın sırrını versin onlara! öyle olmaaaz!

ya nasıl arama yapılır gugılda bana bi söyleyin?! nasıl arama yapılır yaa, bu kadar zor mu bunun cevabını vermek?! anahtar kelimeleri yazarsın ararsın. öyle yapmaz mısın? öyle yaparsın. misal, "gülben ergen gizli çekim" falan yazarsın. varsa vardır. yoksa da zorlamazsın daha. zorlamanın alemi yok çünkü. ama şimdiki nesil nasıl arıyor? "gülben ergenin gizli çekim videosu var mı"! bu ne lan?! böyle arama şekli mi olur?! şey mi bekliyor bunlar, yani gugıl cevap vericek bunlara, işte "yok be abi valla olsa dükkan senin" diyecek, bunlar da "yææ yap be abi bi güzellik, bak gördük vermişsin başkalarına işte" falan diyecekler, gugıl da "kim diyosa şerefsizdir! getirsin, ispat etsin kardeşim! bizim sözümüz senettir! kimseye de ayrıcalıklı muamele olmaz bizde!" diyecek. bunu bekliyor bu andavallar! yani gugılı zafer abi yapacaklar akılları sıra. lan o bi makine! bot o, bot!!

şeyi diycem, geçen gelmiş bi tanesi benim biloga. aradığı şeye bak: "hamit altıntopun sevgilisi varmı". gugıla sormuş bunu. o da bana yollamış! lan ben ne bileyim?! yaa ben nerden bileyim hamit'in sevgilisi var mı yok mu? bana ne bundan?! hayır, içim de sızlamadı değil. sonuçta sevmiş; belli. sevenlere yardım etmek sevaptır. ben de almanya'daki tanışlara haber saldım hemen, la dedim, bi sorun soruşturun, bu hamitin bi kırığı var mı, bi konuştuğu falan? cevap bekliyorum şu an. cevap gelir gelmez yazıcam. sevaptır. bak bak, gelmiş bu, cevap da bulamamış ya sorusuna garip, hemen gitmiş bi daha gugıla. bu sefer ne dese beğenirsin? "hamit altıntopun aşk hayatı nasıl". sldkjfldsfjls ya gülüyorum ama üzülüyorum da bi yandan. yazık lan! ya diyelim iyi değil hamit'in aşk hayatı. yaa diyelim ki almanya'daki hatunlar hamit'i arkadaş olarak görüyor! yahu ne yapacaksın bu durumda? sen kimsin bi kere? önce bi adını söyle, bi kendini tanıt, hobilerin nedir falan bunları bırak girişte. sonra bakalım biz de ne yapabiliriz. tabi bunları söylerken, bu yanmakta olan kişinin hep hatun olduğu varsayımından hareket ediyorum ben. başka şekilse orasını hiç bilemem! zaten müdahil de olmam öyle bir durumda söylim baştan! salak yaa sldkfjlsdfjls. kesin şimdi de gugıla içini döküyodur bu, rakı içip! salak! gugıl lan o, zafer abi mi belledin onu dangalak! off yaa neyse sıkıldım yazamıycam daha fazla. gugılınızdan bulun inşallah e mi!!!

vi ar dı vörld, vi ar dı çılgın ;)

250 kişi hayrettin:

«En Eski   ‹Eski   1 – 200 / 250   Yeni›   En yeni»
  • Katılmadığım birkaç yer var. Oraları bulup düzeltirsen sevinirim.

  • kaç yer? bana tam sayı ver!

  • Hatırlamıyorum. Tam sayı verirsen sevinirim.

  • üç nasıl? tam gibi duruyo.

  • Asal sayı.

  • ardışık olanları vardı bunların eskiden. ne günlerdi be!

  • Pi sayısının, şöhretinin doruğunda olduğu zamanlardı. Bilmez miyim...

  • o da unutuldu be entel :( şimdi gazetelerin soru bankası eklerinde figürasyon takılıyomuş :(

  • Duydum onu yaa :( Bütçesi ancak küçük bir dairede r kareyle birlikte sefalet içinde yaşamaya yetiyormuş.

    Bu ülke sayılarının kıymetini bilmiyor. Çok üzücü :(

    (Bokunu çıkarmak)(Teşekkürler)

  • ya üstelik sayıları o kadar az ki bunların! bir elin parmaklarını geçmez yani. yazık! ülkemizin kanayan yarası hep bunlar.

  • Sonra da yok efendim Amerikalı bir sürü sayı çıkarıyor da bizde niye az sayı var. Sen elindekilerin kıymetini bilmezsen.. Daha fazla konuşamiciim.

  • ya bi de bunlar gerçek sayılar yani! gidip o irrasyonel sayıları çıkarmıyolar mı tepemize!!! ya bırak yaaa moralim bozuldu gece gece. ağız tadıyla bi bir mayısa giremiycez mi biz bu ülkede arkadaş!

  • 1 mesela. Bu ülkenin yetiştirdiği en nefis sayılardan biri. Bir kere her şeyden önce doğal. Ama kim anlayacak! Gidip karmaşık sayılara üslü sayılara falan kaptırmışlar kendilerini.

    Azizim, ben bir de formülasyonda hata yapıldığını düşünüyorum. Sen bu sayıları gidip bir diferansiyelde bir integralde filan oynatırsan tabi ki başarılı olamazlar. Onlar bu kültürün ürünü. Biraz daha spesifik bakmak lazım. Çok yanlış bazı şeyler bunlar.

  • ya işte tam o noktada aslında konu gelip şeyde tıkanıyo: ben sözelciyim :(

  • ahauhahahu

    Biraz da Mayıs'ı konuşalım o zaman.
    Sonra öbürü de gelmiş demiş ki, Mayıs'ın nesini konuşacaksın gerizekalı demiş. Mayıs işte. May. Bitti.

  • mayıs dediğin doğu anadoluda tezeğe verilen isim yahu neyini konuşayım onun ben? lsdjfldskfjldskfjls

    haa ama mayış desem nası başlarsın konuşmaya di mi fakir seni sldjfsdkjflsdfj

  • Bana öyle yabancı kelimelerle gelmeyin. Bizim literatürde bu mevzuyla ilgili sadece "karın tokluğu" var. O da kelime değil zaten. Kifayetsiz durum tamlaması.
    Eehehe. Sözelci seni. Tamlama mamlama görünce sevindin di mi?

  • karını benimle paylaşır mısın diye de bişi vardı bi ara lsdflsdkfjldsfjls.

    yaa ben sözelciyim ama o konuya da tam vakıf olamadım aslında :(( okuyamadık işte :(

  • Gel o zaman biraz fantastik sinema konuşalım. Sen o işlerden anlıyormuşsun. Bloga nasıl geldiklerine filan nasıl bakıyoruz? "hamit altıntopun sevgilisi varmı" diye aratsam çıkar mı gugılda? Çünkü biliyorsun ki benim blog çılgınlarcasına takip ediliyor. Hayranlarımı biraz daha yakından tanımak, onlarla hemzemin olmak istiyorum.

  • ya o öyle herkesin yapabilcee bişi diyil. hekır olmak biraz gönül işi. biraz çalışmak, biraz sebat, biraz akçaabat falan. zor yani lskdjfldskfjls

  • Ya aslında benim temelim var. < head >temel< /head > gibi mesela. Çalışmak da mevzu değil. Fakir olduğum için it gibi çalışıyorum zaten. Karın tokluğuna. Ama akçaabat işi biraz kasar.

    Bi de en sonda hayvan gibi gülmene çok bozuldum. Kız bi insanım sonuçta. Teknik olarak duygularım var!!! Duygulu bir tasarımım:(

  • öyle deme ama köftesi güzeldir sonuçta sdlkjdsfjlsdkfsl.

    ayrıca senin bi fakir olarak alışkın olman lazım böyle yüzüne yüzüne atılan hayvani kahkahalara! sert ol! hell yeah!!!

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